Jillian

Big deep breath.... Actually its getting a lot easier to breathe around here. Ill tell you why.

Last week, on April 14th, I took Jillian, one of our two and a half year old twins to the doctor. I thought she had a bladder infection because she was going pee so much. It seemed like every 10 minutes she was running to the potty, saying, pee-pee, pee-pee! The doctor did a urine test and found glucose in her urine which led to a finger poke and a blood sugar test resulting in a reading of 365. Which is very high.

Two minutes later the doctor came in and said Jillian has Sugar Diabetes. Not knowing what all that meant, I easily said, "ok". I had gestational diabetes with Jenna my first child so I thought that meant we simply had to watch her sugar intake and she would be back to normal. Not the case. Dr. Borgstadt then tells me, "This is kind of a big deal. She's going to need to get insulin shots, starting today and for the rest of her life. I need you to go home, get some stuff and head over to Children's Hospital. " Bring on the tears! I was devastated at first. Mostly of her getting poked, not of the condition.

In two hours after shuffling schedules and arranging kid pickups and dropping kids off we were waiting in line in the emergency room of Children's Hospital. We spent the next 2 days there getting educated on diabetes, learning how to do insulin injections, when to do them, and learning about her new diet. Friday night we brought her home.

It was much like bringing home a new baby. The overwhelming anxiety that you are solely responsible for a life. However, with a new baby, if you miss a feeding, it isnt that big of a deal. With diabetes, you can't miss a feeding or an injection. She needs 30 grams of carbs with every meal. We monitor her blood sugar at every meal and give her a 10-20 carb snack. Other than that, she can have unlimited carb free snacks, but it is very important that she gets her carbs(sugar) at those specific times. At meal times, every 30 grams of carbs equals a half unit of insulin that must be administered within 30 minutes of her starting her meal. After 30 minutes we take the remaining carbs away from her and she can eat her carb free stuff. So we encourage her to eat her carbs first to get her the insulin she needs.

The next day, Saturday was full-on Scarborough day. Softball pictures, 2 softball games, pigs to feed, laundry to do. Thankfully, my friend Julie picked up the girls for softball, and we just had to show up for the games. Within 5 minutes of being at the first game, another child came up to the kids and offered them sugar straws. Ahhh, I wished I had could put Jillian on my back so no one could touch her. Soon after that, Jillian spots the Snack Bar and says, "Mommy, I need Ice Cream." So i offered her some cut up cucumbers instead. That distracted her for awhile, till she saw the little girl with the Fun-Dip! I know eventually she will just know what she can and can't have but there are so many emotions wrapped up in this whole situation at the moment.

Sunday was much of the same. Keep in mind, I am running low on sleep. The emotions and anxiety of it all have completely drained me. I am officially stressed! While we were in the Hospital we missed celebrating Jayda's birthday so I promised her we would make it up on Sunday. We picked up a couple friends, loaded up the insulin supplies and took the babies to Aunties where she had a 30 carb meal waiting for her. I gave her her shot there and we headed off to Chucky Cheese to throw a party together. I didnt want to take the babies. One, because they desperately needed a nap. Two, I wanted to pay attention to Jayda, and make her day as special as I possibly could in the 3 hour window we had. Three, I didnt want to worry about counting carbs and keeping Jillian away from the array of food at Chucky Cheese. Sometimes, I know my limits. Sometimes. Jayda had a blast and Thank God Chucky Cheese had everything we needed, including a cake and candles to top of the afternoon!!! yayy!

We picked up the babies and headed to Target to grab a gift for the birthday party that Julia was now headed to, Alli's party. (I will write more about Alli in a later post and explain how special Julia is to Alli. It will melt your heart.) Alli's party was at a park, and of course, all the kids wanted out and then it was hard to get them back in the car, but I was running out of time to drop of kids, check Jillian's sugar and make the dinner that she needed soon.

It was all too much, and I just wanted to cry, but I couldnt I had things to do, so I was just mean to everyone instead. Dr Phil would have said, "How's that working for you?" Not good. I knew i just needed some rest.

By this time Jillian has become a pro at her injections. When we give her an injection, the needle has to stay in for 10 seconds. The first day we were home, she was counting with us from 7-10, the next day was 1-10. Its so sweet how little babies just want to please us. Before she gets her shots she tells us, "I no cry, Mommy(or Daddy), I no cry." She so sweet, she does that for us, to make us feel better. You should be crying now. :)

Yesterday, I went to work. Jayson is home right now, so it was nice to get away from it all. Our family is on more of a schedule, which is nice, because everyone knows what to expect. The forced routine and new diet is good for everyone. All the kids understand what is dangerous and what is safe to eat. Jenna even made breafast this morning, counting carbs. She wants to learn how to test sugar too. I just love her.

Im back at work today, and I feel like I can finally breathe. I can absolutely see how this can fit into our daily lives and will eventually just be the way we do things. :)